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While you may find yourself putting nearly how to be a better stepmom your energy into building a relationship with your stepchildren, it is important that you don't neglect your marriage. But, I'd like to take issue with this quote: "tt may also be hard to see your spouse with the biological mother at special events involving your stepchild or stepchildren, but this is a situation that's going to be about as permanent as they come. Get in tune with what sets you off the most emotion-wise, accept it, and find a way to live peacefully with those emotions so that you can function. I'm very confused by this since we only get the boys every other night and we've only lived in the house together for less than 4 months and remember my job and military obligations have me away a lot of weekends. You just get pulled in. It's pretty easy to fall into the trap of bickering, irritation, and miscommunication. BM gets to always how to be a better stepmom a parent, but she shouldn't and doesn't get to always be a joined-at-the-hip partner with her ex.